The Abode of The Cerof Twins

[Svo'k Lynd]

*She had left, Kira. Arik was gone too and they weren't coming back, he sat down on the kitchen floor, his chest felt as if someone had stuck a knife in it and started to twist, a feeling he was all too familiar with. The pain in his stomach amplified and he lied down on the floor and stretched out staring at the ceiling and everything he had come to care about in the last several years. His chest rose and fell dramatically as if each breath twisted the imaginary knife further.

He didn't know what to do, she took Damien, HIS SON she took him from him, well Makhai did, but she allowed it to happen it was just as much her fault. He turned his head over to look under the base boards of the cabinet and his red eyes spotted a pill, a single pill just sitting there under there as if it had been dropped. Could Damien have gotten to it? He reached his hand and couldn't make it fit no matter which angle he tried from and decided that it was out of reach even for a child's arms. That said, there it was, just sitting there, had Johnathon....he was old enough now that it didn't matter, he knew better. Still, this was evidence, evidence that he was in fact a bad father, just like they all said.

He took another labored breath in, all those times with self harm, now would be the perfect time to do it, no one was coming to save him, no one even knew he was here. It's not that no one cared, but he didn't care anymore. HIs son's were growing up, Miranda was gone. Kriffing Kira. Miranda was growing up just fine without him in her life and she'd be better off without him. So would Johnathon honestly and Adrian, maybe Adrian would change a bit without Svo'k around to try to impress.

He took a knife from his belt, a weapon fashioned using ancient Sith techniques and imbued with dark sided power in it's forging. He brought it up in front of his eyes and twirled it around for several moments. The blade and hilt passing between the fingers of each hand and then back again, he was quite adept at moving it without the blade slicing his hands wide open, of course he was. He was a trained force sensitive and Sith. Was he even a real Sith? He'd been mocked before by the other Sith and it had always infuriated him, of course he was a real Sith! But was he? That question passed through his mind time and time again as the knife moved quicker and quicker back and forth.

It wouldn't take much at this point, the momentum was enough, all it would take is a simple redirection with force energy and the tip of the blade would fly straight into his throat and everything would all be over in moments. Sure it would be awful for about a minute, but he'd quickly lose consciousness or go into shock, one of the two. Then everything would be black for a few moments and then there would be nothing, absolutely nothing. No more pain, no more Kira or Arik, no more people twisting with his heart. No more responsibilities, no more judgement from anyone, at least not that he would hear...and no more pain.

His red eyes fixated on the top of the knife as he sped up despite time seeming to stand still, it was if the knife was dancing it's way between his hands in slow motion, every twirl seemed to last for minutes. He saw the point and knew now was the appropriate time, he sent the smallest about of force energy into redirecting the knife downward straight at his throat. He saw it move and he knew it was all going to be over soon, no more pain, no more anything he had enough and it was time to be free of it all.

The knife seemed to stand still in the air, despite moving at a fairly alarming speed for such a close distance. There was nothing left to do, this is what he had always really wanted in the first place, he should have died long ago with his mother then none of this would have happened, years of torment, years of pain, years of just stupidity. He had been stupid, so incredibly stupid, his life had truly been meaningless and one embarrassment after another. The knife moved closer and time started to speed up.

His kids, that single thought permeated his mind.

He immediately rolled to the side with lightning fast reflexes of a trained force sensitive, the knife slammed into the floor imbedding itself a quarter inch deep into it, where his throat was not a split second before. He took in a deep breath and jumped to his feet and cupped his face in his palms. He gritted his teeth, he needed to change, he needed to find something to give his life more meaning than it already had. He turned and walked towards the door, not looking back for even a second, he was never going to come back here and if he ever saw her again, it might not end particularly well.

He slammed the door behind him, it was time to grow up and stop being such a whiney little bitch.*