The Public Landing Pad Outside the Mountain Citadel

[Svo'k Lynd]

*There was a jolt and then a shudder as the shuttle converted from horizontal flight to vertical flight, instinctively he placed his left arm in front of Alex to prevent him from flying forward, you know just in case the restraints meant for that exact job somehow magically failed. There was still a few moments to go until touchdown, he glanced over at his son he was sitting there with a wide grin on his face. When didn't he have a smile on his face? He had practically talked Kaytren's ear off for the entire trip, asking all sorts of questions about the planet, the temple. Everything.

The teenage father returned the smile and patted Alex on the shoulder with his red and black Sith Tatooed hands. He could hear the rain impacting the craft some of it getting vaporized and or pushed out of the way by the ship's propulsion systems. His eyes caught Kaytren who was sitting across from him and the knot in his stomach tightened and turned into a sharp pain that caused him to grit his teeth.

Couldn't the pilot circle a few more times and prolong the trip, he felt his left hand go down and scoop up Alex's hand, he clenched it tightly and gritted his teeth again. His red eyes found the closets thing away from Kaytren and Alex for a moment where he fought off his emotions. He was a Sith, Sith didn't cry. Not for something like this anyway....Sith also didn't take their children to be raised by Jedi either. The duality of that thought frustrated him and he turned to look at Alex again who was still smiling. He could feel the excitement in his aura, and in a way that made Svo'k crack half a smile. He was happy is child was happy, but the cost......the cost was....no....there was no cost too great for that. His eyes turned to Kaytren again.*

"So do you have clothes for me?"

*The question was asked almost begrudgingly, he was the one out numbered here. He was the one taking a risk and he was the one giving his son to the Jedi to become one of them. What did it matter if they knew he was a Sith? He rolled his red eyes, force he needed a drink, or maybe something a bit stronger than a drink. He clicked his jaw in frustration and cracked each of his knuckles on his free hand and then ran his tongue over his lip ring. He needed to stop fidgeting, he didn't want to transfer any of his apprehension to Alex. Oh Alex, he was never going to be anything remotely Sith, nor did he belong with Sith, he was just so good, so pure of heart, Svo'k could never ask for him to be anything else but that.*

<<I mean I could walk around in this or naked if you and your Jedi prefer, makes no difference to me...>>

*He shot Kaytren a snarky stare as the craft finally touched down with a light thud and he sighed inwardly.*

"We're here Alex, you excited to meet all your new friends?"

[Kaytren Li]

“Yes, I told you I would,” Kaytren ignored the sarcasm and answered the hurt, but… trying… young man with the mild smile that seemed to have become her default for Svo’k over the years; carefully measured between amusement at his snark, genuine care for his well being, and calm empathy for the constant physical and emotional hurting that he seemed to suffer along the way; regardless of which he brought it upon himself, or which had been done to him.

How long ago since she’d come face to face with him ‘grounded’ behind that energy field on Ossus now? Five years, maybe; though it felt more like half of a lifetime. He’d been barely fourteen; though grieving the murdered young mother of his child and left with an infant of his own. She’d been a rather young Knight still working so hard to find her own path of service in the Order. Nothing in Kaytren’s first encounter with the hurting young Sith had felt like it amounted to much at the end of that mission, but yet somehow the young Darksider eventually become one of the dearest in her life despite… well, everything. The universe seemed complicated and heartbreakingly beautiful like that.

Now, the Healer watched the not-yet twenty year old across from her whom she had come to love like a son. Her deep brown eyes burned with a quiet firelight while she watched Svo'k's nostrils flare from that barely-noticeable hiss of pain that he pushed away every time, and the way his expression softened as he looked down at his shiningly happy young son. Kaytren hadn't expected a lot of things from the past hand of years, but here they were.

“There’s a change of clothes in the duffel by the refresher for you. You can leave it here with your things and weapons in it, and it will be perfectly safe for the time being.” (So will you. Snarking isn't going to help on this one and you know it, but I see you and I hear you. I'm glad you were allowed to come. It's good for him to see you approve, and it's good for you to see him safe. I love you, dearheart.)


Standing up, she unconsciously smoothed a stray bit of hair back into its place behind her left ear, and then smiled warmly and offered a hand to the black-haired little boy who was just a bit older than her daughter.

“Alex, I’ll carry my satchel and your pet crate. Will come get your backpack for us? It's raining a bit outside, but the temperature is very nice and there's a reception house near the gate just up the path. I think your cousin is even here already—It feels like she is anyway.”

Taking Alex’s small hand in hers with a comfortable little squeeze, Kaytren glanced up at Svo’k one more time and offered him an encouraging smile before nudging her head toward the refresher. It was time now.

By the time he was ready, the Healer and younging had collected any needed belongs and stood on the shuttle’s ramp, Kaytren answering Alex’s repeated chatter of questions about the rain and the frogs and his new classmates and his new bedroom and his new teachers. The mother was a (nearly) pristine example of Jedi restraint and (mostly) lack of maternal teasing, while she glanced over the disarmed and rather nondescript Svo’k over. Giving him a slight nod of approval, she redirected Alex’s hand and attention back to his father and together the three of them walked down the boarding ramp to the landing pad…

[Ashlin Li]

…

(…Mama!)
“Mama!!”

The exuberant shout from further up the path came from small vocal cords, but rang crystal clear in the mother's mind as her daughter, Ashlin, soon came into view and sped up, happily tripping through puddles here and there along her way towards her family. The freckled little girl with half-Sephi heritage seemed to currently be accompanied by two others: a slightly taller, apparently a little calmer and slightly older, young boy in similar Jedi garb to Ashlin's and even similar genetics judging from the elfin ears, despite that they weren't actually related—and an impressively large young feline who padded gravely behind both children and watched over them with a fiercely proud stare.

“Mama you're back!” Ashlin repeated as she bounded up into her mother's arms for a hug, and then just as quickly twisted away to hug Svo'k's leg, and catch Alex's hand. (Hi Svo'k! Alex did you know we got clothes for you? They're like ours! This is—) “—Um, I mean, Luka too, an' Keena came. You bring your snake, Alex? Ready? We got lunch!”

[Svo'k Lynd]

*Before Alex had stood up, Svo'k bent down and gently kissed the top of his head and then ruffled his black hair a bit with his free hand, his hand had still been holding onto...who really needed the hand hold here was it him or was it the four year old? He settled on the fact that it was indeed him, as Alex stood, he let his hand slide gently away from his, the emptiness was immediately felt and a lump formed in the young Sith's throat. He swallowed hard and pushed it down, he clicked his jaw again as everything started to happen a bit fast. He heard Kaytren, he heard everything she said and she was of course right, she always was but he'd be damned if he'd ever actually admit it to her.

Svo'k stood up his red eyes fixated on his young son, it was as if they couldn't stare at anything else even as he grabbed the bag by the refresher and prepared to get changed. He looked to Ashlin who was attached to his leg for a brief moment he smiled at her and patted her back lightly, he nodded at the other young Jedi called Luka and held the bag up in acknowledgement, but words failed him, he didn't dare talk for fear his voice would crack. He took the bag into the refresher and let the door shut and lock behind him. He took the clothes out of the bag and rolled his eyes at the plain brown clothes.*

"Of kriffing course...."

*He got undressed, quickly and then started working on the new clothes. The fresher wasn't overly large and perhaps this would ahve ebeen better to do when he had a bit more time. Finally he was dressed. He sighed and took his lightsaber and tossed it ontop of his other clothes, his knives and other weapons were already there. Then he caught his face in the mirror, he stared at it for what felt like an eternity, this is was what he had amounted to. This was everything he had done and here he was giving his son away, to the Jedi of all things.

"You're so kriffing worthless Svo'k."

Anger started to build in him and he reared back and punched the mirror as hard as he could, it shattered, glass entering his right hand. He pulled it away and plucked the glass out. Had Kaytren included gloves with these clothes? She had. He quickly slid the gloves over his tattooed and blooded hand before emerging from the refresher.*

"The mirror fell when I bumped it, might want to get that fixed."

*He took another breath in and watched the younger Jedi, his son now sort included in that description. He sort of smiled and then looked to Kaytren again. There were so many different people in this situation, he had sort of hoped it would be him, Alex and Kaytren, but this was probably better for Alex this way. Then there was Luka, he looked at his features, his bright blue eyes and point ears, the young Sith bowed to him.*

"I'm Svo'k, Luka and you probably already heard Ashlin, but that's Alex."

*He then nodded to Keena and gave her a bit of a crooked smile..*

"You look well and you're big now, still don't play fetch?"

[Alex Lynd]

Blue eyes had lit up as the craft touched down and he was finally here! The young boy looked to his father and gave him the widest smile he could. He heard Kaytren address him and immediately he stood up and faced her, he had to start being a good Jedi now, it was always good to make good first impressions or at least he had heard that somewhere. He handed over his pet crate and sent a warm feeling to all of the various critters including his snake whom he especially adored because his big brother gave the reptile to him. He loved all animals. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, it had felt so heavy earlier, but now it felt light as a feather, it must be all the excitement.

He waited for Ashlin to stop hugging Svo'k before he threw his arms around Ashlin in a hug, it had been a little bit since he had seen her and he was so very happy to see her here now greeting him, that was so cool of her, then there was another Jedi kid to greet him, he looked at the slightly taller Jedi kid who was standing there politely, but his bright blue eyes did not miss the giant cat. Could he hug the cat?! He wasn't sure, but he tried to restrain himself a bit at his excitement, Jedi did something with their emotions didn't they? Anyway, they didn't like being overly emotional or something like that. He had to calm down a bit, but it was all so exciting.


"Hi Luka! I'm Alex! Do you like hugs?!"

[Luka Balmore]

The pointy eared youth smiled as Ashlin frolicked through the puddles, he was a bit older than her and he saw himself as sort of an intermediary between Keena and her.

"Be careful Ashlin, we don't want to get too dirty."

He said as she moved quickly up the path, Luka was a bit excited too, but he was more calm and reserved than Ashlin or Alex, he kept pace with her but was careful to avoid the puddles, staying dry was pointless on this planet, at least while outdoors anyway, but the least they could do is keep their robes clean so the folks in the service facilities didn't have to work harder to get the mud stains out. The half Sephi Jedi youngling made his way up the ramp with Keena's approval and stood at the entrance and or exit of the shuttle with his best posture. He straightened his blond hair and moved some of the longer bits away from his face, his blue eyes watching the scene inside the shuttle with much curiosity. He watched Alex's father who looked to Luka to be barely older than some of the older Padwans at the temple, he was tall though, but he looked different and he felt a bit different. It was really curious, but he had nodded to Luka and the young Jedi offered him a deep and polite bow accompanied by a smile, but before long he was gone again into the refresher.

He turned his attention to Alex and Ashlin, the kids more his own age. Alex introduced himself and asked if he liked hugs. Luka smiled a bit at the forwardness of the question, but he guessed that at least he had asked first.

"Nice to meet you Alex, and yes I do like hugs sometimes."

He motioned politely and gave Alex a friendly hug, he was interesting, a bit much, but the Jedi would tone that down a bit. He smiled again and looked at Master Li who was carrying so many things. He bowed to her.

"Did you need me to carry something for you Master?"

Then Svo'k emerged from the refresher in clothes that were different, this made Luka want to cock his head to the side a bit, but that would be rude. His blue eyes remained with Master Li up until Svo'k addressed him personally. His energy felt different, his eyes were red and that was odd too but he wasn't going to call attention to it, maybe he'd ask Master Li later.

Again he offered Svo'k a deep bow when Svo'k introduced himself and bowed to him. Did he address him as Master? He wasn't sure, he was trying to be as respectful as possible so he settled on something as neutral as he could think of.

"Nice to to meet you Sir. Yes, he already gave me his welcome hug. I asked Master Li already, but is is there anything I can carry for you too? I can manage both."

[Kaytren Li]

She’d heard Svo’k’s comment about the mirror, but Kaytren only met the younger man’s eyes with a briefly encouraging look, quiet reminder that she was here. It was going to be alright.

“Hello my bright star!” The mother murmured as she scooped her small daughter up into her arms. (I missed you, too.) The Healer quickly hugged Ashlin and kissed the top of her forehead before the youngling girl slid down; Ashlin already whirling to greet Alex and the newly-changed Svo’k.

Before she turned to Luka, Kaytren greeted the proud young feline who’d walked beside the children with a moment of eye contact and appreciative nod to the imposing cat, whom she’d also had such a hand in raising over the past two years. There would be time for them to talk soon enough, but Kaytren was sincerely grateful for Keena.

Taking a quiet breath in, Kaytren let the meetings and greetings between the children and the young father all unfold as they would without interrupting them a few moments.

“Hello, Luka. Thank you for keeping Ashlin company this morning, and for coming to help welcome Alex,” she told the sincere youngling in front of her with a dip of her head and a warm smile.

After watching the blond-haired young boy’s interactions with the others for a moment, Kaytren set Alex’s crate down rather carefully on the ground beside her, and gently shrugged the satchel containing her med kit from her shoulder while she indicated it to the eldest of the three students. “Thank you, Luka. I could manage, but I appreciate that you asked and noticed. Would you mind carrying this for me?”

By the time the younglings were situated with her daughter cheerfully leading the way up the path, Kaytren shifted to walk beside the young Darksider while they each kept a watchful eye on the trio of children. Keena padded rather proudly into place Kaytren’s other side, the large creature radiating feline pride in the situation despite her mild irritance with the drizzle.

(Look how well he’ll do.) Kaytren’s light mental voice touched the edge the younger man’s in the same companionable way that her shoulder brushed against his arm while they walked together. He was hurting; that much would have been painfully obviously to the Jedi woman's senses even if she hadn't come to care for him as much as she had over the years. But she'd learned to tread lightly as far as Svo'k was concerned, and they were here now. One thing at a time. (I’m grateful and proud of you, Svo’k.)

[Svo'k Lynd]

*Svo'k watched the scene unfold, yes Alex looked happy, that was fine and good and he was happy that his son looked as if he was going to enjoy his time here with the Jedi. That's what any parent should want for their kid right? He took a deep breath and watched him ask if the blonde haired kid with the pointy ears liked hugs. He felt a bit of warmth in his heart for a moment as his son hugged the other Jedi and introduced himself. His red eyes were locked onto the scene and his son that he was somewhat startled when Luka asked him if he could help him carry anything. He took another breath and remembered where he was, he clicked his jaw and cracked a knuckle in his right hand for a second and shook his head at the young Jedi.*

"I'm sure you could, but I won't be staying."

*His mental attention shifted to Kaytren's voice.*

<<Of course, he'll fit in well with them...he's just like them, somehow.>>

*He avoided rolling his eyes and staring directly at her and instead managed another half smile at Luka who was annoyingly polite. No use taking his frustrations out on him, he was just a little kid, even if he was a Jedi kid.*

"You'll keep an eye on my son won't you Luka?"

*Why the kriff did he say that? Alex could look out for himself, he was strong and....his eyes caught Alex splashing in the puddles with Ashlin near Keena who had yet to fully acknowledge him. Maybe he did need looking out for, he wished he could send Adrian here as Alex's personal guard so that the Jedi didn't train all of the strength out of him.*

<<Oh you're proud of me? That's lovely. I'm here watching the living embodiment of my failure as a Sith run off to frolic and dance with the Ji'dai while I contemplate every stupid decision in my life that has led up to me being this worthless as a Sith. But hey, I guess he's happy so there is that...>>

*Svo'k crossed his arms in front of him.*

<<I need a drink.>>

[Luka Balmore]

Her Medical bag? The pointy eared youngling's eyes brightened and he carefully took ahold of the bag that was being entrusted to him. Her medical bag. He had her medical bag, one of the greatest healers of the Jedi order and he was being entrusted to take care of it. He nodded to her politely as he adjusted the straps a bit and slung it over his shoulder with the greatest care that he could. He had envisioned himself as a healer one day, helping others to the best of his ability and saving them from grips of death, what an honor that would be and what an honor it was to be asked to carry Kaytren Li's medical bag. Butterflies filled the youth's stomach as he stood there and heard Svo'k's request.

"Yes Master, I'd be so happy to."

The youngling turned his attention to Svo'k, his peaceful blue eyes looking up to met the red ones of the tall man before him. As the anxious father stood there, Luka could pick up the tone of his voice and the sadness that lurked just beneath the surface. Of course everyone would be looking out for Alex, that's just what Jedi did and even at his young age he knew that, but the man standing before him did not know that. So how could he deny him? He couldn't, it was not the right thing to do, it was not the Jedi thing to do, even if it was nothing more than a symbolic gesture. He nodded politely to the tall man before him and that's when he felt it, he couldn't quite put a finger on exactly what it was, but it wasn't light, it wasn't like what he had felt in the other Jedi, both the younglings and everyone else, it was a distinct lack of light, it was almost like it was dark where the light should be. Was he a dark sider? If he was then why was he bringing Alex here? There was a touch of fear that pricked the edges of the young Jedi's aura and he quickly pushed it away so as not to make Svo'k feel any more anxious than he already was.

"I'll do my best Sir, but we're Jedi, we all kinda look out for each other. I'll help him make friends and show him the cool places. Sometimes new Jedi miss their Moms and Dads, I'll be his friend when he needs me."

[Kaytren Li]

“I appreciate your help, Luka.” Kaytren gently shifted her attention from Svo’k or any of the others, giving herself moment to focus on the eldest of the three younglings. The Healer made it a point to watch the care Luka put into handling her medical satchel; he’d even thoughtfully taken the time to adjust the strap for himself. She met the young student’s gaze with warmth in her eyes and a sincere smile. “That bag suits you.”

Their exchange ended soon enough. Luka had rejoined Keena with walking down the path behind Ashlin and Alex.

~ ~ ~

Kaytren breathed out. Everything about her demeanor remained calm, but still; the quiet impression of firelight in her gaze burned a little deeper and hotter when she looked back to Svo’k in the thick of his Sithness and sarcasm. She watched the self-loathing young father’s stare flick back to his bright-eyed new Jedi Initiate of a son while he splashed about in the puddles. She watched his brief flicker of pride in how joyful his young child was, then the concern and the sullen tick in his jaw when the absurdity of it all must have hit him all over again. She watched Svo'k stiffen away from her and cross his arms.

The Jedi woman found herself folding her right hand around her left, unconsciously rubbing the ache while she thought about this newest student in her care. She looked ahead to the giggling younglings up the path while her daughter chattered something about the way her favorite flowering plant was opening up to catch the rain, and she smiled faintly. The Healer breathed in and relaxed her hands again.

(I am watching the living proof that you’re a father, yes still full of flaws, but one who looks at his children and puts this son’s life in front of his own. I’m grateful that you trust me with him. If you still truly don't believe for even a moment that all three of those children are soldiers ... and I know you don't... you don't know us yet dearheart. But I can live with that. And Alex will live. That's the point.)

“So.. Yes, Svo'k. I’m proud of you.”

[Alex Lynd]

Alex ran through the puddles and felt Luka's hand on his shoulder slowing him down a bit, he looked to the pointy eared Jedi and smiled widely, light filling his blue eyes. He continued talking with Ashlin and Luka along the way as Keena minded the kits a bit, he radiated happiness as he approached the main area crossing into the temple grounds. He took a step past the gate and then stopped. He turned to look back at his father standing several feet behind him talking to Kaytren, was he going to come in? Alex wasn't sure, but he sort of wanted him to, he wanted him to be there when he saw his new room and all of the new things, he understood that he couldn't stay, but he just really wanted to share his his excitement a bit. He was going to be a Jedi now and that meant he was going to....be a Jedi? He wasn't sure he knew exactly what all it entailed, but he knew it was right for him, he knew that he wanted to grow up and help people and that's what he imagined being a Jedi was.

The purely light child took a single step towards Svo'k, the rain soaking him to his core, there were several emotions flowing through him, but the one he wasn't expecting was sadness, he wasn't going to see Adrian, Johnathon, or his mother or father again for a long time, and he hadn't really thought about that yet. He lowered his head a bit and kicked the mud a bit with his small brown boot, trying to make sure he didn't cry, he didn't imagine Jedi cried, Sith sure didn't cry and he knew that.

"Dad, are you going to come see my new stuff with me?"

[Svo'k Lynd]

*Svo'k watched Luka for a long moment, he heard his words and if he had been a bit older Svo'k might have had a sarcastic and rather crude quip regarding Jedi and their lovey dovey brothership garbage. That said, he was a child and one that was well enough in his intentions and had in fact just done almost exactly what Svo'k had asked him. He bit his tongue and knelt down to the youngling's level and patted him on the shoulder.*

"Thank you Luka."

*It it was then after Kaytren stopped speaking that the young boy ran off to join the other children as Svo'k stood up and heard Kaytren's words brush against his mind, he turned to look at her again. Her words, there were so many of them, so many of them that he had heard before but then again there were some of them that he hadn't. In all of his years of being a father, which to be fair weren't so many yet, but in those years, no one ever accused him of being a good father. It was always the opposite, it was always how terrible of a person he was and what a bad influence he was on his children. It infuriated him and made the fire in the pit of his stomach burn hotter than one could only dare to imagine. She didn't quite say those words exactly, but she acknowledged that he was a father who put the well being of his children ahead of his own and he might not have been great at it, but he sure tried to do that as much as he possibly could.*

<<"His future and his happiness is all that I care about and I'm glad you see that, because this is krifing hard Kaytren.">>

*You don't know us yet, she said. Was that one of those sneaky Jedi "come back to the light" nonsense words that he had heard oh so often, he had no intention of ever getting to know them better than he did, he knew enough, he knew what the Jedi had done to him, they may have changed since then...it didn't matter. He looked at Alex again, he had stopped, he wouldn't last five minutes in a Sith Academy, this was the only option that made any sense at all, at least here he could thrive and be happy versus being murdered in his sleep at best. Svo'k looked at his son and heard his words, he heard Kaytren too and it mattered, but Alex needed him.

Svo'k walked swiftly over to Alex and threw his arms around him in a hug, he pulled his Son's head close to his shoulder, he then pushed him out to arms length and looked him deep in his blue eyes. He had to maintain his composure here, this is what mattered, this was the moment where he had to be the best father he could be and remain strong for his son.*

"No Alex, I can't. This is a Jedi place and I'm no Jedi, but you are. You always have been Alex and this is where you belong, this is where you will be happy and you can grow up to help people."

*Alex started to speak about missing his family, but Svo'k cut him off.*

"No, no more of that. You've got to be strong, we will see you again, it will be hard at first, but you'll make friends. You've got Ashlin and Luka already, they'll be your family here."

*Alex wrapped his Arm's around Svo'k's neck and the young father bent down to kiss his son's head.*

"No more tears Alex, be strong for me, be the strongest Jedi you can be. I'm proud of you Alex."

*At this point Svo'k himself was near tears, but he fought them off and stayed strong. Gently he pushed Alex away towards Luka and Ashlin, the older of the two Jedi again putting his hand on Alex's shoulder. Svo'k stood up and smiled and watched as they walked off, Alex turning his head back once or twice and Svo'k merely nodding at him. As they vanished up the hill out of sight, tears started falling down Svo'k's cheeks as he turned around to see Kaytren. Quickly he wiped the tears away and found a bench outisde the gate and practically fell onto it rubbing his temples and trying not to cry anymore.*

"I'm glad you're proud of me, but I think that just might be the hardest kriffing thing I've ever had to do."

[Kaytren Li]

When all of the words had been said, and when the second teacher had met beside them beside the gate, and when the father and son had taken their moments away from the others while the softspoken Healer saw to it that the datapad, pet crate, and small bag of belongings were handed off, and the children were cared for, and she’d spoken briefly to Keena — When the whole sequence of minor events had been tended, that Kaytren knew the emotion-filled young father had no presence of mind left to acknowledge, and once the small group had faded safely into the temple grounds with their newest initiate already cared for and counted among them... Kaytren turned away from the gate.

She rejoined Svo’k and sat down on the bench. Tucking her feet up, the Healer turned sideways on the time-weathered gray stone seat so that she faced the young Darksider, leaving just enough space between them that they could really see each other.

“I know.”

It was still raining, but gently. The wall sheltered them well enough. Kaytren’s firelit brown eyes met the young father’s red stained gaze without any judgement today. Her awareness of most of the alternatives filled her with intense gratefulness for his child’s sake, but she fully comprehended the depth of his emotion. The Jedi woman watched Svo'k's face while she thought of her own small daughter and the other young lives she’d come to care so much about that it made her heart ache. She'd never intended to choose favorites; but somehow there were a few who found a deeper place in her heart despite logic or reason. That might just be human, she'd supposed. Rain. Kari. Titus. Svo’k. His children.

“And you didn’t burden Alex with it. That care you poured into him will stay with him. He’ll thrive, and he'll grow as well as he could anywhere in the galaxy all things considered. We'll help him pen you a note in a few weeks when the new habits are setting in and he’s ready."

Kaytren's eyes glanced back towards the gate briefly, and then back to Svo'k with slightly different expression.

"I think it's time to talk about something else, too. Are you ready enough?”

[Svo'k Lynd]

"Yeah, I'm not a terrible father."

*Svo'k looked to her, his red eyes narrowing just as thoughts of what others had said raced through his mind. For years he had been accused of being irresponsible, a bad influence, everything under the sun and while that was true of who he was as a person, it wasn't completely true for who he was as a father. He had failed at times, but his children were the most important things to him and he would sacrifice anything for their well being and happiness.*

"People like kriffing Makhai don't kriffing get it. Everyone looks at me and says "He was a father at fourteen how irresponsible, how reckless, he has no business raising children." Yeah sometimes they're right, but not most of the time. Do people really think I went into this without a kriffing clue? I read parenting books while Anuck was pregnant. Most of them, the good ones anyway say the same damn things. Don't live vicariously through them, they are their own person and what they want for their life might be different than the grand dream you had laid out, but if it makes them happy and it's what they want to do, then as a parent the worst thing you can do is get in their way. Ground them in reality sure, but don't force your will upon them, so that's why Alex is here. If I were to make that boy a Sith, I would have to crush him so hard that by the end of it he wouldn't even be my son Alex anymore. He'd be a shell of his former self and he'd wind up one of three things; Dead, more miserable than even I could imagine, or the most evil Sith this galaxy has ever seen that doesn't even resemble the son I know and love. If you really want any of those things for your kid then you shouldn't kriffing have kids. At least I put him first, at least I know what he wants despite what is expected of me. People really kriffing think I'm so kriffing stupid that I wouldn't at least try to prepare to raise a kid and look for all the info I had. At least I love my sons at least I try my best. I can't say the same for some Sith...you know by Sith definitions, I would probably be a much better Sith had I not had kids, but my children come first, not the Sith..."

*He reached up and wiped a tear that was forming in his eye away as he reached in his pocket for....kriff, not in these stupid clothes. He rolled his eyes a bit at the absurdity of the situation, here he was talking about what a good parent he was and he was looking for something that was terrible for his own health, that being said Alex was gone and none of his children were here, so at least there was that. He took in a deep breath, and Kaytren wanted to talk about something else, she mentioned it before he started his little rant. He turned to face her as the tiny drops of rain danced around them, it wasn't one of those rains that soaked you to your core unless you stayed out in it for hours, it was more one of those nice drizzles that was somehow mildly soothing and pleasant.*

"So what else could you possibly want to talk about now that Alex is gone? Say what you want, I'm just confused about the timing. "

[Kaytren Li]

Kaytren knew she was treading along a nerve. She didn't smile much, or give Svo'k any other reaction likely to trip the precarious balance, but she dipped her head in understanding when the emotional young father spun off into an intense storm of words about his parenting. Would she call him a good father? The Jedi woman quietly rubbed her wrist and thought privately about the question, not for nearly the first time or for the last... It was complicated. She wasn't ready to answer yet, honestly. But he was trying... and he wasn't Jedi; so the ‘trying’ counted for something.

Especially when it came to Alex, Svo'k was right; they both knew it. Any of the darksided factions would have destroyed that child. Kaytren didn't feel that it would do much good to bring up his firstborn child today... The Jedi woman comprehended full well that the Sith were well on their way to raising that son of Svo'k just as they could have wanted. And she knew that Adrian was growing strong on it; thriving as impressively as anyone might call a Sith-raised child 'thriving'. But Kaytren brushed those thoughts aside for the time being. She breathed out, and focused back on the young father who sat directly in front of her amid all his intensity, protectiveness, and contradictions. What was it he'd just said?

‘I would probably be a much better Sith had I not had kids, but my children come first.’

Her gaze burned with a quiet understanding, and a private prayer that she kept guarded safely within her own mind.

When Svo'k had finished and indicated it was her turn, Kaytren breathed in. It was time to touch that nerve some more, she supposed.

“Well. About a year after I met you, there was a short program for pre-university students in Calamar, on Esseles. It was something to do with the cultural preservation of a shrine there, although.. that part doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme. As you might expect, most of the students spent their free time seeing the sights and recreational areas. Many of them enjoyed a cantina a few neighborhoods down from the shrine. The…” She paused and fought with her memory for a moment. “The Ion Sandbox, it was called. You might remember it, Svo’k. Though I don’t know specifically what you were doing there aside from the obvious. But... I do know there was a young woman in a student group from Coruscant. Elisse. She looked back on it all and described leaving her peers on a whim. There were a few substances involved, apparently… But mostly it was just too much to drink, and a little rebellion? She didn’t return with the students. Elisse missed course the next day. Her classmates panicked. There was a missing persons case opened briefly, so it was easy enough to track the dates. She commed a friend 23 hours later to be picked up from a less reputable town on the next continent… Alabar, I think? They’d been worried sick. She lost course credit for the trip, but most importantly she was fine.”

Kaytren watched Svo’k.

“The next university term came around. Elisse ended up delaying her coursework. Apparently she had some contact info of yours, but… I didn’t know you well yet five years ago, Svo'k... but you and I both know it wasn’t your best year. You were young. You weren't ready to listen. That was what it was. But, Elisse had your child; one year younger than Adrian. You have two Jedi sons now, dearheart. The first doesn't know of you yet. We won't share that history just yet until the day is right and it's not too heavy for him. But you met Luka half an hour ago. He is kind, and thoughtful, a natural caretaker among his peers; and worth taking so much pride in. I could tell you a little more about him, if you're ready.”

[Svo'k Lynd]

*She had began speaking and of course he listened intently, he always did when she spoke and he wasn't sure what he was doing at times listening to a Jedi, but she had been there for him, she had helped him, and in fact she contradicted everything a Jedi was supposed to be in his own mind. His red eyes stared down at the ground while she talked, why was she talking about the Ion Sandbox? Had she been there too...? She kept going on and on mentioning the university students and then she mentioned Elisse by name and he struggled to remember the situation. They were at the cantina and yes there was drinking involved but not so many substances in and of themselves, it was as Kaytren said mostly how it happened, but he almost wondered if she knew just how much Elisse egged on the situation herself. He was never a saint in these matters and no was not a word that really ever escaped his lips when it came to any physical activity with a female or...anyone really. He licked his lip ring nervously and made a fist with both hands as she continued to speak. Elisse was a liar and he knew it. She came onto him, not that he hadn't been staring at her and her friends for a better part of the evening and then all of the sudden she was pregnant and having his son?! Bantha Osik is what it was then, he had no reason to believe her and there was just no way she didn't have other guys that could have been responsible, she came on to him...but she was just being rebellious and he sort of knew that then, so maybe there weren't other guys and this was just a one time crazy thing? He shook his head thinking about it, he wanted to reply to Kaytren directly but held off while she continued talking.

"You have two Jedi sons now dearheart."

The knot in his stomach tightened, his eyes widened and he turned to stare directly at Kaytren. That little pointy eared blonde kid was Elisse's and possibly his?! His heart started racing and he thought about standing up to see if he could still see them, but he knew they were long gone, Kaytren would have made sure of that. He tried to remember the child's face, it was coming in crystal clear, the eyes, the features the only thing that was really weirdly off was the color of his hair, but that happened sometimes right? He remembered that just a half hour ago he was instinctively asking Luka to watch over Alex, why would he do that? But Elisse was a kriffing liar! She was! There was just no way, he tried to remember back to that night, but it was all a fog of intoxication mixed with passion. He clicked his jaw again and shook his head.*

"Elisse Balmore?! She was kriffing lying Kaytren. I mean it's possible, but she was older than me. She saw me staring and came over and asked me to buy her a drink, I complimented her and she returned the favor. We had a few more drinks and....you don't need the rest of the details, but I remember I had...uhhhh....stuff with me, stuff that is supposed to prevent that type of thing. I just don't remember if I....uhhh remembered to use it. I was so freaked out about pregnancy then because of Anuck that I....I was careful most of the....." *He sighed for a moment.* "I was too drunk, I don't remember honestly."

*Svo'k sighed, he didn't know what to feel, on one hand he had admired Luka for being so well composed and polite at his age, on the other hand he had thoughts about the lack of strength in the child, but he felt....his aura felt, familiar, that's why he had trusted him to watch out for Alex. Svo'k swallowed hard.*

"You wouldn't have said that if you didn't have blood work."

*Svo'k sighed heavilly and his shoulders sunk, he cupped his face in his hands and shook his head. He really was a bad father. What father would openly reject his own son?*

"I'm never going to see him again am I Kaytren? Tell me about my son, please.....tell me about Luka."

[Kaytren Li]

“He is as kind, thoughtful, and as caring a child as they come.” Kaytren reiterated quietly after a moment of watching the younger father with his head buried in his hands.

Her empathy for Svo’k was so piercing that it felt like a physical wound in her stomach, but pushing too much affection on him or even moving too closely to didn’t help in these situations… He’d come so far from the hurting teen a few years ago, who’d have been restraining himself from lashing out at her, but tearing at his hair or being destructive to himself by now. The dark-haired woman found a plain handkerchief from a pocket and set it on the bench between them, folded enough that it stayed nearly dry.

“He was born on Coruscant at one of the university hospitals, so his midi count was tested early. Luka was the name Elisse chose for him. I honestly don’t know if she would have planned to raise him or not; but she did care about him. The Praxeum was gone already, so his test and records were forwarded to the enclaves. Elisse met with two of the masters from Dantooine and released him to their guardianship. I didn’t have reason to meet their younglings or know anything about him for those first few years, but..”

She glanced at the mossy gate and the winding path up toward the citadel.

“We changed that and I’ve had the privilege to know him for some time now. Luka is cherished, so constantly learning and thriving. He’s too young for anyone to box him into anything, but that boy is as Consular a soul as they come… very likely a Healer, I’d bet my credits and reputation on it. He doesn’t have the natural leadership traits you’d think of looking for in a war… I saw the expression on your face when you thought about him and compared him to Alex, dearheart. They’re both strong. I don’t know if you really believe that or not yet, but we do. But you’re right; neither of those two would have made it unbroken through the early few years of harsh training. Luka loves plants and maths and history. He’s a good listener and one of the most observant in his class to subtle details. He’s one of the first to help with a task, and enough of a problem solver that the others look to him when they’re working to figure out something new. He’s not as fast at shooting out ideas as some of them, but his solutions don’t usually break anything either. He’ll be giving Alex a tour of every interesting tree and bird’s nest all the way back to the temple space, and by the time they get there he’ll have pieced together enough about Alex so that he can kindly introduce his new friend to every child, knight, and trooper in the temple. Luka is very good at that. He doesn’t know you, but you are family to his family now… He’ll learn more soon enough in the next couple years when he’s a little more ready. It’s not the simplest history, but I promise that plenty of us come from harder ones. I’m sorry that it’s not clear or easy for you either. I thought about not telling you, but it’s been long enough and the truth is worth knowing. Thank you for trusting us with Alex, Svo’k. You're.. not even that grown and you had such a terrible time, but you are working so hard to be a good father and a good man. I’m sorry if I’ve done any of this worse than I should have, but I promise that I’ve got them both. They are loved and cared for and will grow well. Please don’t be afraid that this is the last you’ll see of either of them.”