The Jedi With The Sith Tattoos
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2022 4:49 pm
The deafening buzz of the lightsaber by his ear, the acrid smell of burned hair crept up his nostrils as Harper said the words he had been longing to hear for several years. The butterflies in his stomach were swarming faster than he ever could have possibly imagined. He stood as he was welcomed into the Jedi Order as Knight, a Guardian of the peace and a protector of the innocent. It was all surreal. After what must have only been a few seconds stood up in a place he never thought he'd be in a ceremony that several years ago would have seemed like a cruel joke to him, but here he was now. He bent down and took his Padawan braid from the floor the dark brown braid seemed out of place in his red and black palms that long ago had been etched with symbols of hatred and anger, from a life he'd just assume forget but knew he never could and never should. He took the braid and cut it in half with a small knife he had retrieved from his belt, he tied both ends off and offered one to Harper, the Jedi who had trained him and shown the way and most of all, the one who put up with him as former Sith Padawan. He bowed graciously to Harper before throwing his arms around him in a hug.
"Thank you for everything...thank you."
He said quietly as he leaned in. He looked around at the Masters and other Knights present, some of them had become his dear friends. Then there was Kaytren, perhaps the person he owed the most to. He walked over to her and offered her the other half of his braid and then wrapped his arms around her saying nothing, but nothing needed to be said.
Soon it was all over and he found himself sitting in one of the temple's many quiet places that he often went to meditate, not a lot of people came here, it was dark, secluded and most of all in a state of disrepair that for some reason appealed to the former Sith. He leaned against a cracked wall scarred with blaster burns, he'd often wondered if they were scars from the great Jedi Purge and assumed they were. He wondered who had died here at the hands of the Sith, perhaps he'd never know. It was one of the few places in the temple that was harder to concentrate, which is exactly why he liked it. He used it to test himself, to test his ability to remain serene while surrounded by the scars of the past. In many ways he felt the room was the perfect reflection of himself. Outwardly covered in scars of terrible acts of hatred, but beneath the surface it had endured and became a place of peace once more, just like him.
Now however, he was a bit ill at ease, thinking about the ghosts of his past and quietly wondering if he really deserved all of this. It was not that it was an easy path, he had been through hell and back and most assuredly suffered many burns along the way, but he had survived. Others had not though, others had died because him and the decisions he made.
He never really spoke about many of them, everyone knew he was a former Sith, even if for awhile he was almost a caricature of a Sith, a wannabe so to speak, but there were times when he was much more than that. There were times when he was downright evil and he knew it, even if others did not necessarily know it, or did know it but looked past it or perhaps through it to his heart. Either way, he did not know if he deserved that courtesy, the lives he ended or ruined did not have the ability to move past what he had done to them. He had been trained to accept these things and he was at terms with them, he had processed them, analyze them, repented the best he possibly could and moved forward. That didn't mean that they didn't occasionally cause him pain, especially on a day like today when he was being celebrated. He knew that allowing these thoughts to torment him outside of the place of solitude and private meditation was not something he had the luxury of doing as a Jedi Knight, which is precisely why he was here, to deal with it.
He closed his eyes but heard footsteps coming, 'of course' he thought to himself. You just can't sneak away from your own party and not expect someone to come looking for you. His blue eyes opened to see Kaytren entering the room, he smiled warmly at her, he patted the ground next to him.
"Come sit with me."
Whether she did or not, he didn't quite give her time to respond as he looked up at her.
"I never did tell you about my brother."
The new Jedi knight let out a long sigh as his back slid a bit down the wall into a more relaxed position. He stretched his legs out and crossed them in front of him.
"Thank you for everything...thank you."
He said quietly as he leaned in. He looked around at the Masters and other Knights present, some of them had become his dear friends. Then there was Kaytren, perhaps the person he owed the most to. He walked over to her and offered her the other half of his braid and then wrapped his arms around her saying nothing, but nothing needed to be said.
Soon it was all over and he found himself sitting in one of the temple's many quiet places that he often went to meditate, not a lot of people came here, it was dark, secluded and most of all in a state of disrepair that for some reason appealed to the former Sith. He leaned against a cracked wall scarred with blaster burns, he'd often wondered if they were scars from the great Jedi Purge and assumed they were. He wondered who had died here at the hands of the Sith, perhaps he'd never know. It was one of the few places in the temple that was harder to concentrate, which is exactly why he liked it. He used it to test himself, to test his ability to remain serene while surrounded by the scars of the past. In many ways he felt the room was the perfect reflection of himself. Outwardly covered in scars of terrible acts of hatred, but beneath the surface it had endured and became a place of peace once more, just like him.
Now however, he was a bit ill at ease, thinking about the ghosts of his past and quietly wondering if he really deserved all of this. It was not that it was an easy path, he had been through hell and back and most assuredly suffered many burns along the way, but he had survived. Others had not though, others had died because him and the decisions he made.
He never really spoke about many of them, everyone knew he was a former Sith, even if for awhile he was almost a caricature of a Sith, a wannabe so to speak, but there were times when he was much more than that. There were times when he was downright evil and he knew it, even if others did not necessarily know it, or did know it but looked past it or perhaps through it to his heart. Either way, he did not know if he deserved that courtesy, the lives he ended or ruined did not have the ability to move past what he had done to them. He had been trained to accept these things and he was at terms with them, he had processed them, analyze them, repented the best he possibly could and moved forward. That didn't mean that they didn't occasionally cause him pain, especially on a day like today when he was being celebrated. He knew that allowing these thoughts to torment him outside of the place of solitude and private meditation was not something he had the luxury of doing as a Jedi Knight, which is precisely why he was here, to deal with it.
He closed his eyes but heard footsteps coming, 'of course' he thought to himself. You just can't sneak away from your own party and not expect someone to come looking for you. His blue eyes opened to see Kaytren entering the room, he smiled warmly at her, he patted the ground next to him.
"Come sit with me."
Whether she did or not, he didn't quite give her time to respond as he looked up at her.
"I never did tell you about my brother."
The new Jedi knight let out a long sigh as his back slid a bit down the wall into a more relaxed position. He stretched his legs out and crossed them in front of him.