They Wrecked It!

[Julian Orspach]

Sometimes in a Galaxy far far away, it isn't always about the space wizards with their laser swords, yeah they're important but the every day Joe also has a place in the this story. Sometimes there is a guy who you don't want to cross and we're talking about DeVon here, who just exists in this galaxy far far away. DeVon had no real special skills, he just ran a shop that carried basic items that everyone needed and used. He had food, sundries, magazines, a family safe plastic guard for the more mature magazines, and there was a kid that may have sold mild forms of spice out back behind the dumpsters that DeVon of course had no legal knowledge of, but when the cops came he told them the kid was a Mon Cal kid when in fact he was Corellian and human as could be, so they had this fake sketch of this fish looking dude that they never could find and frankly they didn't give a damn, they had more important things to deal with than a mild spice dealer out of a convenience store.

DeVon wasn't clean shaven that day, or any day for that matter...oh and that day happened to be right towards the end of Republic's conflict with those damn Droids. Anywho, DeVon was hardly wearing his best, a worn sweater, opened and a t-shirt that had a dubious stain on it near his neckline, he was reading a magazine in that moment, that moment that everything changed.

DeVon flipped the page of his magazine and sipped on his soft drink that may or may not have been laced with something to give it a bit more of a kick and then there was a gust of wind that flung the doors opened and knocked two shelves over. His magazine flew out of his hands and across the store, his soft drink spilled on the counter, his dirty blonde hair blew as his attention turned towards the door and that's when he heard the blaster shots, followed by a hum and several sharp sounds, he ducked as a blaster bolt wizzed by his head and hit the cooler shattering the glass. A man with a jet pack just up and jetted into the room firing his blaster rapidly, the bolts being re-directed back into the store, hitting the containers of soft drinks and bags of snacks a stray bolt hit the family shield in front of one of the more mature magazines revealing a female Twi'lek in a rather compromising position on the cover, another bolt caused the magazine and those behind it to burst into flames.

"COME ON GUYS WHAT THEY HELL?! YOU'RE KRIFFING WRECKING MY SHOP!"

They didn't hear him and the fight continued and a Jedi with a blue laser sword sprinted in and swung his weapon at the blaster armed man with the jet pack. More shots rang out being re-directed everywhere, one singing his hair. Then just as quickly as the fighting duo had arrived they had left. DeVon stood up and looked around the shop, smoke filled the air, there was a mix of soda pop and alcohol with charred bits of snacks and magazine covering the floor. He threw his hands up on the air and shook his head.

"Shit. What the kriff was that?!"

The young spice dealer walked through the broken door, he winced as a light fixture fell to the floor and shattered.

"DeVon?"

DeVon, looked at the younger man.

"Not now Kevin."

"What they hell happened DeVon?"

"Kriffing Jedi wrecked my shop man!"

"Bummer. What a smoke?"

DeVon placed his hands on his hips before glaring at Kevin.

"Is that all you think about man how to sell the next one?! Does it look like I have money Kevin?! Look at my damn shop!"

Kevin put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a poorly rolled cigarette looking thing.

"Nah it's on the house man."

DeVon's expression changed immediately and he shrugged.

"If you're offering..."

DeVon took the poorly rolled cigarette looking thing and lit it and inhaled deeply. He coughed a couple of times and sat down on the floor amongst the destruction. Kevin sat down next to him, both leaning against the counter. He passed it off to Kevin who inhaled it deeply and also coughed. a couple of times.

"Man Kevin, what the hell am I going to do? I mean look at this place."

Kevin passed it bag to DeVon.

"Dude....you said the Jedi did this?"

Both of their eyes were turning a bit bloodshot as DeVon took another puff, his voice higher than it was before.

"YeAHH....and some damn flying dude with a blaster."

Kevin took it back again and put it in his mouth.

"Theres your answer maaan. The kriffing Jedi."

DeVon turned to Kevin who at this point had finished off the poorly rolled cigarette. Cheap ass he thought to himself, give someone a freebie and then take more than half of it for yourself.

"The Kriffing Jedi Kevin?"

"Yeah man!"

Said Kevin.

"I don't know that I follow, am I supposed to march right into the kriffing Temple and give them a bill for this? They'll laugh at me."

Kevin took a deep breath in and chuckled the effects of the mild narcotic hitting him full force.

"Naaaah. You schedule a meeting tell em what happened man they'll totally cover it."

DeVon blinked and smacked his own head flabbergasted.

"Great kriffing plan Kevin, so they meet with me, Joe kriffing nobody who is known for having you out dealing behind the dumpsters and tell them they owe me. What do I do when they laugh at me and kick me out Kevin?!"

Kevin took a regular cigarette out of his coat and offered DeVon one of his own. He lit it and cooly blew smoke out of his nose.

"Well man, that's when you kick that little green pointed ear f**ker in the balls to show em you mean business. Then you grab the most expensive thing you can see and book it the hell out of there."

DeVon thought for a long moment about what Kevin said. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was something else, but dammit the kid had a point. For far too long the Jedi and the Republic had screwed the little guy while they played their long game, never caring about people like him. That settled it. He was going to the temple.

"You know something, you're right man! I'm going to go kick that green little f**ker right in the balls and make him pay up for this catastrophe!"

Kevin patted him on the back.

"Hell yeah. Hey...maan Can I have a Soda?"

DeVon looked at the destroyed soda cooler and all the liquid slowly engulfing the floor.

"Yeah man help yourself...."